Vaati the pocket wizard
by MelonLordOfMelons
Summary: Vaati escapes the seal of the Four Sword and into the world of wizard magic. Ratting is just in case I might put in foul language later cause Vaati is going to be so annoyed in this new world. It's mostly about Vaati trying to live as a tiny minish in Harry's world of danger. Frendship fic, i'd make an awful romance writer cause romance is not my thing.
1. Freedom will put you in strange places

CH1 "Those stupid godesses. Thinking they can put me into a seal and leave me here?! The fools underestimate the powers of the great wind mage Vaati!" The purple soul floated in the emptiness of the seal it had been kept in shouting it's awsomeness into the void. "Muahahaha! I will be free and nothing will stop me from destroying those wretched reincarnations and those stupid goddesses." The small soul began to emit a yellow light and suddenly dissapeared from the void.

CH2 "I don't have enough time!" The purple soul floated throught the passages that connectd the realms together trying to find the passage that would lead him back to hyrule and avoiding the power of the goddeses chasing it. The tunnels looked like the sides were made of strands of blue hair that shimmered at random intervals sending information about the worlds to the godesses. It wouldn't be long before the ex-prisoner was discovered.

"Damn where is the entrance! Where did they hide the stupid thing?!" The little soul continued to make twists and turns down the tunnels until it sensed that it had been noticed.

"No no no no no!" Screamed the soul as it sensed the enormous powers persue it down the tunnels.

"You think you can cathc me!? I'm not a pawn you can predict the movements of you idiots!" The soul made a turn to the left and narrowly avoided being encompased by a red aura but was still to close for comfort from the green one and had entered a tunnel without any side paths for some distance showing that the godesses had little connection to the world in the area. Certanly not anywhere near where the soul wanted to be but would do until it had the power to defeat the wretched godesses.

"Danm!" The soul screamed as a green tendril wraped around it.

"Vaati how did you escape our seal?" Said the green soul who had captured it.

"Oh i'll show you how!" Screamed the sould as it started to glow yellow again and freed itself from the grasp of the goddess. "Ahahahaha!" Shouted the soul as it entred the closest world it could reach, leaving the three auras to stew over their lost wind mage.

"Nayru how much damage do you think he can do in such a world?" Asked the green aura.

"I belive not much at this point, he did use almost all of his power to escape, that and the people of this world have similar abilities to mages. I belive that he should be contained for quite some time unil he recovers his power." Replied the blue aura.

"If he is stuck in his true form then i belive he will be given muh truble in this world. This will be fun to watch." Replied the red aura.

Ch3 There was a flash of blue and then the small minish fell into a tree. As he fell down he couldn't help thinking that he was so close. "What?! No i refuse to die here!" The little minish shouted as he grabbed onto a leaf for his life. " **Those damn godesses dare to try and stop me? I will dance on the ashes of their sacred realm, fly the corpse of their chosen hero like a baloon** , i'll show them true power..." His sentince trailled off as he realized the leaf was tearing in the middle where the leaf was damaged.


	2. Vaati vs Stick

As Vaati fell he realized what a nice night it was. The stars that he hadn't seen in who knows how long were beautifull against the night sky. He didn't want to die he thought as he fell closer to the ground. He let out a scream as he tried to axess his tiny bit of magic power he had left. It was useless and he plumetted towards the ground never to be heard from again exept as a crunch of breaking bones and only seem as a pile of purple mush in the forest for a bit.

-JK, that ending would be fitting for the king of the skies to die by falling to the ground, but not satisfying to you readers :D. Let me do that again.

Vaati was falling to his death and as the ground came closer he let out a scream fearing it would be his last. What he didn't count on was a strange creature swooping in and grabbing him with it's tallons and taking him towards a castle in the distance.

"Did i actually make it back to hyrule? No the archetecture is diffrent." Vaati observed as he was flown to the top of one of the many towers on the structure. The floor of the bird coup, as Vaati assumed it was, was clean for housing so many owls. So many owls that were now staring at him curiously. He could tell that they were smarter than the average animal. Not only could he see more than animal in their eyes, but not eating him yet was a good indicator they were willing to talk or, at least or had some sentient plan for him.

"Alright birds, what do you want?" Vaati's minish mouth easily spoke the words of the minish after years of hylian and the words felt out of place.

"We were simply curious about the strange presence of power we felt. Often times the forbiden forest has strange bursts of magic but nothing quite like what we felt before in our services here. Then we heard screaming from the most peculiar creature falling to the ground. You're welcome by the way for saving you." Said a brown owl that looked at Vaati like he was a curiosity.

"I still say we bring it to the headmaster and be done with it." Said a grey owl with white specks.

"You mean that old fool who pokes his nose into places it will get cut off in?" Asks an owl in the back.

"Hey quit talking like i'm not here!" Shouted the minish after being ignored and talked about like a thing. He was Vaati the all powerfull windmage! DESTROYER OF GODS! The indignity of what he was now was pushed to the back of his mind for more pressing matters. "Okay where am I, who is this Dumblesdraws, and about the magic burst? The names Vaati by the way. Not thing! Not it thank you!"

"To answer your first question Vaati we are inside of Hogwarts, a school to teach young wizards magic." Said the first owl that spoke to Vaati. "Also the Headmaster of this school is Dumbledoor."

 **Okey there was no stick... Omake time!**

 **Vaati was falling and screaming while holding the leaf like it would catch wind and break his fall. Luckily for him it caught on a branch that bent just so before he could hit the ground. He soon realized that the leaf would not support his weight even though he was still minish size and was tearing again. "Stupid leaf i will destroy all trees in Hyrule for your incompetence at holding yourself together!"**

 **Vaati being the genius he is grabbed onto the branch before the leaft left him falling again.**

 **"Hey what's the big idea mun?!"**

 **"What?" Asked Vaati confused as to where the voice came from.**

 **"It's me the stick mun! Why you pull on a brother like dat?" Asked the stick.**

 **"You are a stick... all those years in the seal and i'm offially insane... great." Said Vaati now realizing he was hallucinating a talking stick.**

 **"Listen mun i'm not your imagination i swear!"**

 **"No you are and i refuse to talk to you! Me, my head! I don't know!"**

 **"listen bruddah, what you gotta du is calm down and relax okey? This will not get you out of your situation but atleast you feel better when you die."**

 **"Wait what?" Said Vaati as he realized the stick broke itself in spite of him and he began falling again**

 **(Sister lost her pet snake as i'm writing this XD. She left the lid off and is quite the fool. She also thinks not telling the parents is a good idea)**


	3. Timeline established

**Before i continue with the story i want to remind you this is foremost a comedy and my first story ever XD. Frendship with harry will be later cause i need to get plot and explanations out of the way to stop confusion later. We found the snake btw. Parents will never know. I'm likley to make a crack about anime villans in town of salem.**

"As for your last question, the magic signature is what I went to investigate finding you falling to your almost untimley demise. What caused it is what we would like to ask you." Finished the brown owl.

"The power signature you felt was what allowed me to come here. How did you birds even sense it?" Vaati asked.

"We are delivery owls. Quite diffrent than any normal owls you would find in the wild. We always know where to bring packages by way of finding magical signatures. We are more apt at sensing things like that but the foolish wizards are to stupid to recognize our ability. They think we just know by... magic." Said the owl who thought Vaati should be taken to the headmaster. The sencence brought hoots out at the end.

"Alright, so you are smarter than the average bird... Why go to a place with a powerfull magic signature. I don't think you would be able to defend yourselves from an attack from somthing that would be causing said signatures?" Asked Vaati curious if the owls were magical creatures with great power.

"We trust the wards in place gaurding hogwarts. Even somthing like that would have broken a ward if the school didn't want it in here." Said the brown owl.

"So you trusted a... sentient school? How dose that even work?" Asked Vaati.

"Hogwarts was created by the founders many generations ago. They each put a part of themselves into the school that they created using their beloved items as catalysts. If you stay here you will find that this place has a mind of it's own." Said an old grey owl.

"That is IF he is allowed to stay i still say we take him to the headmaster."

"I say we let him stay as long as he dosn't cause truble."

"We should let the votes decide." Shouted an owl over the multitude of voices.

As the multitude of owls calmed down footsteps could be heard. The owls quickly scrambled to get back to their normal positions and pretend to be asleep. Vaati was owl handled by owls who both grabbed onto him at the same time but that was short as one let go. Vaati was then sat on by said owl that had been carrying him.

The person who showed up was a plump woman with a cornicopia like hat. She wore brown robes and had gloves on her fingers. Vaati was only able to see that much befor the owl shifted it's position to cover him completely.

"Oh I thought i heard somthing. No matter." Said the woman as she handed a letter to an owl next to her. "Please take this letter to Mister Quirrell."

The owl took off holding the letter and the woman left. The owls aranged themselves the same as before and placed Vaati back in the middle.

 **Next chapter will hopefully be a long one so might not update in a while. I know i hate when chapters are so short. Btw forgot to save after adding Quirrell XD so if ur reading this afterwards no change but if you read before big difference.**


	4. Time for adventure!

**Plz give me names for charachters XD I'm the kind of person who would name a fish Fish, and only pronounce it with a funny accent... okay i did name a fish Fish with a funny accent. Btw tell me if i should make these longer or not? I'm in the zone with this story right now.**

"Alright you know the drill. One feather per each owl in procession of oldest to youngest. Give your feather to Noel for Vaati to be taken to Dumble door." Said the reddish owl who silenced all the others earlier to the Grey owl with specks now known as Noel. "If you wish for Vaati to leave quietly give your feathers to me. And if you wish to allow him to stay as long as he causes no harm give your feather to Maji." He said while looking towards the brown owl that saved Vaati.

"WAIT! hold on for a second, who said i wanted to stay here?" Saked Vaati angry people were trying to decide things for him.

"Where do you have in mind going to then if not staying here. Even for a muggle you have little power and your size dosn't help things, not at all. You'd make a great meal for a snake though i assume." Said Maji.

Vaati supressed a shiver at the thought of being eaten by a snake and said "Fine cast your votes. If you don't want me here fine but i certanly won't let you take me to this Dumbledarf."

"Sadly whether or not you are taken to Dumbledoor is up tho the votes to decide." Said the reddish owl quickly. "Luckily for you there are few sympathizers with that man."

Vaati stood in silence and watched as names were being called and feathers were given to the diffrent owls. Very few were in the wing(?) of Noel while both the brown owl and Maji had the majority of the votes. Vaati again continued to watch the feathers being counted but was startled by a voice behind him.

"So you have any questions before you find out what gruesome fate awaits you?" Said an owl that looked like he was part of a tree. He litraly looked like bark and would have been mistaken for one if not for his animated movements and the waving of his wings.

"Don't mind Petro, he's a bit overdramatic and thinks his calling is the theatre." Said an owl to the left of him. She was all white but clearly diffrent from the rest. Where most of them had feathers like eyebrows on their heads or feathers flaring from their eyes this one had a sleek body and was completley white exept a few black spots on either wing.

"Belives! I know it's my calling!" Scoffed Petro.

"I do have one question though, i can't help but notice people side less with bringing me to Dumbledofenshousen even though he's the leader of the school." Said Vaati.

"You said his name wrong on pourpous." Observed the white owl.

"I've given up hope of ever saying it right." Said Vaati with a cheeky grin.

"Anyways the esteemed headmaster of this school is certanly not a man to triffel with, his great powers are known to have keept great evils at bay you see ..."

"ON WITH IT PETRO! I'm old already but i want this explanation over before i'm considred a dinosaur!" Said an owl in the crowd that Vaati couldn't see.

Petro coughed and continued. "Well to make it short he is the headmaster, but unless there is harm to students or school we can keep our secrets. The headmaster is notorious for messing in many affairs and hs often gone behind another person's back. Honestly we relay information through the schools connected animal, Fawkes. The headmaster dosn't know we are this smart and stupidly talks about things when we deliver or are asked to send letters. Not only that but we make it our job to know whats going on in our home. There happy?"

"Yes thank you Petro, the feathers have been counted." Said the reddish owl.

Vaati waited to hear wether he had to go face the wild new world on his own or would be able to stay and lern about the world here before let lose on his own.

"Vaati luckily for you the votes have decided you are allowed to stay here for as long as you need. Remember you must not cause any trouble and we are not liable to help you if you find yourself in a dangerous situation here. My name is Dave and i act as the voice of reason around here." Said the reddish owl now known as Dave. "Though that dose beg the question as where will you be staying here?"

Vaati looked around the room he was in. Seeing all the windows it would deffiniltey get cold in the winter. He saw no suitable place after observing the owl statue, all the holes in the walls to acommodate owls, and the stairs that led up to where Vaati assumed the roof was.

"I don't know if i can sleep here. It looks like it will get too cold for me, i don't have feathers." Said Vaati.

"You did hear me say this castle is magical? The tempurature is always kept warm enough even in the winter. Not only that, but rain dosn't enter either. If you'd like we could arrange for a place in the rafters. We'd have to think of how you'd get down but you aren't likely to be spotted and there are many places you could find to hole yourself in" Said Maji.

"Yes that will work fine." Said Vaati who was already thinking on what he'd use to get down. Vaati was flown up into the rafters by Dave and shown many nooks and crannies where he could try to make a temporary home in. After running into a strange spider and more than one orange chuchu looking things he settled on one nearest to the platform that was held up by the owl statue. Vaati had just enough room to stretch out and not be seen from outside the crack. The owl carried enough straw for him to make into a nest like bed untill they had a chance to find him somthing more suitable.

Vaati woke up and crawled out of his nest instantly realizing he was in a space unfamiliar to him. He was in a small rectangular room with two doors, both on either of the shortest sides. One Vaati's nest had been gainst.

"Alright what the heck!" Yelled Vaati as he threw open the door. Vaati then stepped out and was nearly blinded by the light that entered his dark room. He was greeted to the familiar sight of the owlery and was on the support beam his nook had been connected to. A few owls gave his direction a suprise look at the outburst and a few landed on nearby rafters to investigate what was going on.

"Vaati what foul feind has atttacked you my dear Vaati!" Shouted Petro which instantly gained some eyes rolling.

"Well for one this changed! I'm pretty sure there was no tiny door here yesterday." Said Vaati.

"The castle is alive and has powers do do things in diffrent places. Here in the owlery it is made to accomodate occupants. Owls were in mind but we have accepted you with us for a time so the castle has likely acted accordingly. The same happens with the doorm rooms for students. Once accepted into a certain neich the castle prepares for your stay." Informed the white owl with black spots.

"Huh, weird place." Said Vaati as he went back into the room and opened the other door. "Hey i think this leads somewhere." Shouted Vaati to the birds still curious as to what he found. Vaati started into the small hallway the door led to, his eyes easily adjusting to the darkness. The tunnel led on for longer than Vaati was comfortable with but if the castle was giving him a challenge then so be it! Vaati would not back down, not be beaten by a castle of all things! He would never be able to live that down... being beaten by a hero blessed with a godesses power, happened to one in five villans. Beaten by a castle? Unheard of, and let it not be Vaati to be the first victem of good masonry.

After a while Vaati discovered the tunnel went in circles and at a slightly downward tilt untill reaching some stairs. Vaati breifly remembered in his haste to explore he forgot to have anything to eat but decided to keep going until he reached a small door. Vaati opened the door and the aroma that greated him was nausiating. It had been so long since he had anything to eat and the smell made him want to kill someone for locking him in that danm sword. Well to be fair he already wanted to kill them, this time however, with more malice.

The sight Vaati took in from the crack of the door perplexed him. He was certanly on the ceiling of some tiny kitchen that had a trim at the top making a convinient ledge for Vaati to stand on. The place looked just like something he'd had in his castle. The cooks inside the kitchen were what stumped him. He had not seen anything like them before. They looked like short, grey, and dried up zoras with no fins or webbing, and instead of a tail on their heads they had large wrinkly ears.

The way they magically controled the cooking apliances without hands was daunghting, and honestly told Vaati it was not a good idea to be seen by these things. Normaly monsters attacked first unless they were summoned like most of Vaatis old minions were. And magic+monster= insane wizzrobe. Vaati howeer not willing to back down from getting a taste of the delicious smelling food was formulating a plan on how to aquire said food, or even how to get down to the floor for that matter. Evrything is so hard again now that he's small. It was incredibly infuriating. Vaati knew the castle led him here for some reason so it shouldn't be too hard to get to the food. Would it?

 **Sorry if i missed a letter or two. y keyboard randomly gives up on me XD. Hope this is long enough for you. BTW minish Vaati=Best Vaati. Not only dose he recognize he shouldn't mess with things that could squash/eat him but he tries to get back at people in more nefarious ways now and 10 times more sassy to make up for his height.**


	5. Thinking With a Stomach

**Btw(DRA aftermath Dev at deviant art. It's a NicoB fangame a town of salem player told me they made, and i had promised to include it cause I was sick and on medicine for headackes and runny noses(My nose is trying to kill me right now) :3. A melon lord always keeps their promises!) Also fear Dave! The mighty owl leader who will claw out your eyes! FEAR HIM! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Also i will be using the layout of the campuss by Randwulf. It just is so easy for me to read over the others.**

Vaati was on the ledge pressing his body as close as he could to the wall aand shimmying across to a side table where some of the food was being stored. The sight of the food made his stomach growl, but because of his size and the fact the creatures were cooking, the noise was covered by the sound of food being prepared. Vaati breifly wondered why the kitchen was so empty. In his thoughts about food he didn't realize what seemed a bit more off about these creatures. The castle was big enough to house many hundreds of inhabitants but the food on there weren't enought cooks in the kitchen to take care of that many people even though the room was equiped to do so.

Vaati then remembered that there was delicous looking food down there and that the matter could wait. Luckily for Vaati next to the table with the food there was a side table with cake that would easily break his fall if he timmed it right. That and it looked like the kind of thing you wouldn't mind dying in as long as you got to eat some of it. It had two layers, a white frosting that was piled up on certain places, and candles placed into the middle of those piles. On the top was a crest depicting a bird, a snake, and two animals he couldn't tell the nature of, and had an H in the center. The bird was on a blue backround, the snake on the green, and the other two on yellow and red.

Above the crest was Hogwarts in a scroll like backround and below it was some strange language Vaati couldn't read. He decided that, yes he wouldn't mind drowning in this particular cake, so he waited till none of the cooks were looking in his direction before he jumped over the edge and into it.

As predicted the cake broke his fall but he was allowed to live another day and eat cake as he didn't fall very far into it and could still get out. Vaati tasted the inside where he landed and observed the green color of the cake, just as green as the snake on the emblem, backround if he remembered corectly. The icing Vaati noted was sweeter and softer than any he ever tasted before and the green inside was light and fluffy enough while the icing with its partial bland flavor yet a hint of sweetness that didn't make the sugar to overbearing.

After tasting the cake, and wipping off any that had gotten stuck on himself, Vaati went over to what he thought was a roasted kind of cuckoo that ws sitting on some leafy plant like thing. He realized as he stepped onto the main table that there was a white cloth covering it. There was also some strange red circle things on random parts of the top of the bird with no pattern. He again looked to make sure no one noticed him and finding he was safe behind the bird he tore off a small peice. The taste was so good. The taste was of seasonings and a strange tart flavor combined with the jucyness of the meat that made him eat another before moving on seeing that there was two of each food item besides the cake.

This time Vaati came upon a platter of bread rolls and ate a peice. The bread was not sweet but not bland by any means. It was soft, but left Vaati feeling like he needed somthing to drink it down with. Vaati then moved on to the next dish which seemed tho consist of a layer of diffrent collored, shinier than normal, beans and cones of brown things covered with strange tiny tubes that were also diffrent collors. Vaati decided to try one of the tubes but decided he didn't quite like them. They were too crunchy and weren't quite what he liked.

After grabbing one of the shiny beans and inspecting it he thought they weren't supposed to be eaten. They seemed to be just for decoration and were hard to bite into leaving him with a taste of sweatness that was overbearing. Vaati apreciated sweet flavors but didn't quite have it in him to eat the kind of pure sweetness that seemed to be these magical sugar beans.

He breifly wondered if he planted them would they grow other beans like them or had these been prepared in a way that they were unable to grow anything. This place he decided was certanly giving him much to think about. Vaati quickly dropped the bean as one of the creatures looked over to his direction. He instantly hid behind one of the cones making himself as small as he possibly could. It didn't seem to notice him but Vaati held his breath as it placed down a tray of what seemed like apples that had been dried up. As soon as the creature left Vaati decided he could help himself and took a bite of the warm wrinkly apples. De realized that these were baked apples and appreciated the taste greatly. Not only did they still hold some of their sweet juces but they also seemed to be seasoned with some strange brown seasoning that gave it a bit of extra flavoring.

Vaati had little time to continue to appreciate them as as soon as he realized two of the creatures had come his way the table was covered with a metal like half cylander cover. Vaati ran to the side but realized he could not lift it or even fit underneath it. As soon as he thought about hiding suddenly the table started moving and the shaking made it hard for Vaati to stand. Vaati then cursed himself for not paying attention to the cooks and suddenly realized they must be taking the food to someone.

Vaati instantly thought about where he should hide and soon realized he had to hide inside some of the food if he didn't want to be seen. It was risky and he might be eaten on accident but he had no better option right now. Vaato quickly made his way to the cucco and entered the hole he had seen earlier right between what looked to have been the legs. The fact he entered a dead, roasted cucco by the butt was not lost on Vaati and he once again cursed the chosen hero and the damned goddeses. Vaati soon felt the cart stop suddenly which sent him into the side of the cucco before he heard a few voices as the covering seemed to be lifted up as they were almost silent before he could hear them with a bit of muffel from the cuckoo.

"...and I hope you will enjoy the food our house elves have prepared. Sadly Querrell will not be joining us just yet, but he will be in time for the opening feast."

 **So the next chapter is going to be really short and in a diffrent point of view. Finally 5k words though!**

 **-Melon Lord Out "\\(*-*)**


	6. A meal with a giant(Half)

**ultima-owner i decided to use your sugestion because as long as Vaati wasn't too wasted i could still get plot moving around while making a hillariuos Vaati monolouge.**

Snape knew that the dinner with the teachers before the school year started was tradition yet he still didn't want to leave his lair when he could be doing somthing more productive. He loathed to sit near any of the hatty teachers who would constantly try to push him into conversations. He knew he wasn't the best liked teacher and was described as prickly when they thought he wasn't around. He liked his solitude, and prefered it to sitting next to a half giant that was getting drunk on spiked pumpkin juce. This meant he was also getting loud. The food hadn't even arrived yet and the fool... whoever brought the WizLiq alchohol and allowed the idiot to have some was going to pay. They wouldn't know it was him of course, Snape had always beeen good at sneaking around. Just then the headmaster stood up to make the same speech he's said for over eleven years. Hagrid of course stopped talking to aptly listen to his idol.

"Welcome, teachers. I think i'm speaking for all of us when i say i'm looking forwards to this new year of school." At this Snapes permanent scowl got more defined.

"The fresh bunch of kids here come, eager to learn what wizdom you have to give." More like eager to slack off on their studies. I'll show them slacking only gives them bad grades.

"Like every year it will have it's ups and downs. It's highs and it's lows." As Dumbledoor said this the cart with food arrived and came to a sudden halt. "Now is a time to relax, and i hope you enjoy the food our house elves have prepared. Sadly Querrell will not be joining us just yet, but he will be in time for the opening feast. Before we begin though." As the headmaster said this the dishes floated in front of the staff members to land down on the table. "I would like to inform you that this year Harry Potter will be joining us. I expect you to treat him just as any other student who has graced these halls."

"You don't want us to grovel at the feet of the boy who lived? The chosen one to defeat a great evil called he who must not be named." Said Snape with the average ammount of sass.

"Snape I esspecailly mean you." Said the headmaster looking at the potions master who grudgingly lowered his eyes.

"Enough blather! Help yourselves to the meal." Said the headmaster with as much cheerfullness as he could muster. Professur Flitwick used a levitation spell to bring himself a baked apple, Hagrid ripped a legg of of the chicken, and Dumbledoor grabed one of the sprinkled chocolate cones.

Oh the boy who lived will be wishing he hadn't when Snape is through with him. He's no doubt been waited on hand and foot by his relatives and slacking off on studying the basics of potions. Snape would make a fool out of the boy for his own impudence, Snape would make him do his best or risk failure. As Snape entertained these thoughts he cut himself a bit of the chicken and didn't notice the small minish that had let go of the peice halfway to the plate and was now climbing down to the floor.

Vaati couldn't belive his luck that noone noticed him. To engrosed in talking or eating to notice the minish had allowed him to get away before he was stabbed with a knife. He had almost been when the black haired man had cut his peice out right where Vaati had been sitting. In an effort to stay hidden and not get cut to peices he had grabbed onto the peice and had to let go when part of the meat he had been holding started stripping away.

Vaati now had had enough food and adventure decided to head back to the owlery and ask the owls about somthing he overheard that bothered him. Vaati then realized he had no idea which way he had come from sat underneath the chair of the man who had almost sqewered him. As he was thinking of which way he could take and how to do so without being seen a goblet clattered to the floor covering Vaati with what smelled like pumpkins and had the consistancy of slightly more liquid mashed potatoes.

"Woops sorry." Said the large man who Vaati had heard talking almost non stop to a woman next to him and two men across from him. A hand went down and grabbed the goblet, the mman seemed to be too drunk to realize that Vaati was there and not an illusion created by drink. Vaati tried to wipe some of the substance off but his curiosity soon made him try some of it. He knew now was not the time so he decided to use his hat to carry a bit. He tied it at the top and carried it over his shoulder. Now to figure out how he should get out of the huge dining hall.

Vaati looked around and it seemed th loud one had also dropped a napkin. Vaati picked it up and held it over his head as flat as he could make it.


	7. Beards make a coot a coot

**I'd be better at writing Crack fics but better to push my limits! Would have writen another crack fic chaper but time for the acctual story. XD**

Vaati now had his cover to move about without beeing seen. He could swear that the big man had saw him and realized that these people must have great magic as well. If the scool itself could do magic he was curious on the ability of the people who lived in there. Not curious to be captured by them, mind you.

He looked out from under the table and located the cart that was likley waiting to pick up the dishes. Vaati hoped it would go back to the kitchen and not dissapear. Vaati waited a bit and worked up his nerves till he felt ready to make the journey over to the cart. Of course Vaati gave himself a pep talk as he normaly did before somthing he was nervous about.

"Alrigth Vaati you can do this. You think these fools can catch me? I'm the master of sneaks! I broke into the castle and paraded as the king for days with no one knowing!" Said Vaati. Ready now to get going Vaati took a slow step out from under the table. It seemed like the cart was a yard away so it would take the tiny minish some time to get there going as slowly as he was. Vaati decided he wanted to get there before they finished eating and talking and weren't distracted enough for him to make his way across.

Vaati soon started running and stopping evry so often when the conversations started getting quiet. Vaati was inches from the cart and decided to make a break for it. Abandoning his cover he grabbed onto just above the wheel and was given cover by the white cloth. He continued to listen to the conversations.

"Dumble door you've got to... you've got to... make a parade of..." The big man then fell over.

Vaati then was able to identify the man with the insanley large beard that exeeded Elzo's. Vaati then sumrised that he must be as annoying as the owl's had described. He also realized that stupidly long beards made old people annoying. The beards were obviously metaphors on their over extending into other people's problems. Vaati waited and watched. He learned nothing about the chosen one and realized it was simply old chatter about strange things he didn't understand from this world.

As Vaati was getting bored the people started to leave until the table was now empty exept the leftovers of the meal and the table wear. Vaati watched from his cover as the house elves appeared and used their magic to levitate the things onto the cart. As soon as they were done one of them snapped and sent the cart back to the kitchen with Vaati holding on for his life. Of course as his arms didn't stretch all the way around the metal he was holding onto he soon fell off and found himself in a hallway with many paintings and a suit of armor. The painting seemed like windows into other places with the inhabitants of each frame going about whatever biusness they decided upon.

Vaati didn't want to now how these people got trapped into those frames he decided he wanted out and fast. The school seemed to hear his thoughts as a tunnel soon showed itself in the wall. Vaati quickly went through the passage and it closed behind him as he proceded. Vaati walked until his tiny legs felt like jello and he reached the familiar small room. He then exited to the owlery and saw four owls playing a card game with the others watching. It looked like they were betting some kind of cracker as the pot.

"Hey can someone help me down?" Yelled Vaati. The owls seemed to freeze and Petro and Maji soon meet him up in the rafters.

"My goodness Vaati we thought you had begotten a cruel and unusual fate!" Said Petro while swooning.

"So I have a few questions for you guys." Said Vaati. "Who is the Chosen one and why is he called that?"

"That would be the boy who dah vanquished the dark lord when he was a child." Said Maji.

"Wait so the chosen one killed a child? Was the child predicted as evil?! Thats still so messed up!" Said Vaati.

"No Vaati the chosen one was a child when he reflected a killing curse back on his attacker, the dark lord." Said Maji. "Dumbledoor has said he dosn't belive the dark lord is truly dead. He also belives the boy will be able to acctually defeat him when he returns."

"The great evil who has made his quarry the muggles and all those who will oppose him." Said Petro. "We have been worried that when he returns he will seek vengance on Dubledoor and attack the castle."

"So this dark lord... what is his name?" Asked Vaati.

"No one says his name anymore. It's considred a mood killer and bad luck to boot. People call him he who must not be named." Said Maji.

"He must not be named? But that is technically a name for him isn't it?" Asked Vaati.

"Why yes it is Vaati. Wizards are supersticous to the extreem. They take many stupid things seriously and many important things like the newspaper article discribing how to clean a window." Said Dave who landed on the beam next to Vaati.

"So where did the castle lead you?" He asked.

"The kitchen to get somthing to eat." Said Vaati.

"The castle dose feel the need to take care of it's geusts." Said Dave.

 **It's 10:04 right now and i need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!**


	8. Drinks!

**You gusy think I should kill off Dave? Just a thought... (He called me fat.)**

 **"Hooo." Said Dave.**

 **YOU DID!**

 **Also writing this on medicine... let's see how long untill i feel like passing ut and submiting this?**

"While it's good you get to know your enviornment it's probably best you don't explore too much. The castle likes to play tricks and there are people and other animals who stay here." Said Dave.

"It's also a shame you missed out on the news reading. Though the stories are dramatized or false to begin with the news is important to keep watch of." Said Maji.

"News?" Asked Vaati.

"Yes Vaati it's a bunch of information pressed magically into paper that informs readers on important things that go on. We usualy throw out or reuse the paper after the readings." Said Dave.

"Vaati what has happened to your head accesory! For shame!" Said Petro who had noticed Vaati's hat that he held over his shoulder.

"Oh. I found some weird drink and decided to take some with me." Said Vaati.

"Could be a potion Vaati. They can easily kill or transform oneself into a toad." Said Petro.

"I think it's a kind of pumpkin juce." Said Vaati.

"That's probably what it is then. That's the main drink people have when they stay here." Said Noel who landed on the beam next to Maji holding some purple cloth in her talon. "This is for you. Sorry about being so rude when you first came here. I was suspicious that you were a dark wizard trying to get into the school." She handed Vaati the cloth and flew back down.

"Hmm. Yep this'll do." Said Vaati after inspecting the cloth. "I still don't think I like her though."

"I don't expect you to like evryone." Said Dave who then flew back down to watch the game. Vaati watched for a moment then asked.. "How did those people in the halls get..."

"Get what?" Asked Maji.

Around the flash backs of his own prison and the emptyness to him cursing Zelda, the goddeses, and a certain chosen hero in his head he said "Stuck in those paintings."

"Silly Vaati those are part of the painting. Those people are made by magic to seem alive as they once were but they are magic infused paint on a canvas. Do becarefull though, they were given a part of their muses so the ones loyal will tell Dumbledoor if they see you." Said Maji.

"They sometimes act as sentries to catch neerdooelers and prestigous gards to protect their houses! Although they do sleep at night mostly, and can leave their own painting. The newspaper is the same but they don't have a part of their muse and act in a predetermined pattern." Said Petro.

"As the once Hestia Doreen said,"What are you doing? You have a human on your back! Have you no shame? Are you a common mule?"" Said Petro.

"Petro what has that to do with anything?" Asked Maji.

"I haven't the slightest, it seems i need more sleep." Said Petro who then flew off confuzed to his owl compartment.

"Honestly he dose this two times in a day now." Said Maji.

"Spouts random lines? Seems like he's trying to get better at quotes and is embarassed when they don't work." Said Vaati remembering when he went through that same stage spouting famous minish quotes at master Elzo. NO JUST ELZO! HE CHOSE HIS SIDE!

"Vaati are you.. okay?" Asked Maji seeing Vaati's face warp into anger.

"Yes, i'm fine. I'm just remembering some things." He said making the worried look of Maji dissapear. While her face was covered in feathers he found these owls expressd through their eyes.

"Must have been pretty mad to make your face look like that." Said Maji pointing her wing at Vaati.

"It's all in the past now." Even with Elzo living a long time because he was a wizard Vaati knew he didn't live to see half of Vaati's years as a prisoner, like you knew you left the kettle on your fire. It was somthing you had wished to prevent but beyond your power to change. Vaati didn't need the old fool anyway.

"Anyway do you know what time it is? The passages are a bit dark." Asked Vaati.

"It's around mid day. Why?" Asked Maji.

"What? It felt like that journey took a whole week of walking!" Exclaimed Vaati who pointed at his sore feet.

"If you are feeling tired you can take a rest. I will be sure you get some food." Said Maji.

"Yeah a bit of rest would probably do me some good." Said Vaati realizing how tired the walking made him. "I'll see you later i geuss."

"I'll see you later as well Vaati." Said Maji who then flew back down from the rafters. Vaati grabed the cloth that Noel had given him and turned his straw pile into a nest shape. He then threw his blanket on top and was ready to sleep.

Vaati felt himself enclosed by a void of nothing. He knew there was nothing out there to hear or want him. He felt the isolation of hundreds of years eating at his sanity. He realized he had lost evrything. He realized he lost nothing. Nothing had ever been his to begin with. It was like he had been destined to be the bad guy just so he could dissapear. Those stupid goddeses were raining blessings on their choses but he was stuck here. Alone.

Vaati needed noone! He took what he wanted because noone would just give it to him! The world was a cruel place, and the crueler you were the better off you could be. Vaati knew how cruel the goddeses were, making prefabricated lives so they had something to watch. Somthing to entertain themselves with in their pitifull existence. HE WOULD WIPE THEM OUT! They created Vaati to be the bad guy so that is what he will be! Always diffrent from the other picori.

He would not lose the game they had set up for him to lose! He would throw the dice right back at their faces! He needed noone and noone needed him! He would destroy the reincarnations of his foes including that leach Gannon! No... he'd seal them away for who knows how long and let them watch as time moved on without them! The people and things they felt passionate about crubmled to dust! He floated in the nothingness feeling like he had somthing to exist for again.

Vaati woke from his memory. Just before he had decided to escape his prison. He felt the anger swell in him at the unfairness of fate. Then he ralized he had escaped the fate the wretched goddeses had made for him. He escaped the sael and their world of influence. He would of course return and bring ruin to Hyrule swiftly and withpout mercy. He was not a child who could be told what to do. He would reach his goals if they were the last thing he did.

He then realized he hadn't biult enough power up to move a feather, let alone create a whirlwind to tear apart the lands. He remembered the goddeses, and how he had used up most of his power to escape their trap. He then realized escaping them for a second time was worth it, and smothed out his clothes as he got up. He noticed his hat he had left by the door earlier and decided to try some of the pumpkin juce.

Vaati could have sworn there was alchohol in the drink but at this point he didn't care if he got drunk. It's not like he might accedentaly blow away one of the owls with the little bit of magic he had. As he ws feeling a bit woozy he lamented about the old days in his mind. Flying around as free as a bird. As cuel as a Hylian. As he always felt he wanted to be.

"Fuck them! They want me to be evil, i'll be the worst of the bunch! Tey will... cluck like cucoos when I command them too! That Zelda, i bet she stuffs her bra. Totaly the kind of girl to do so. Who needs a girl like her. I'll bet that link has his hands full dealing with a snot nosed princess. And that leach Ganon who had to drain my powers to even compete with that kid! HAH! Had he not been there my power would have been enough to cream both of them! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Vaati are you... drunk?" Asked Maji who had oppened the door to his little room.

"NO... yes." Said Vaati. "Want some?"

"Owls shouldn't get drunk Vaati. We'd likley fly into too many things." Replied Maji.

"Awwwwww that's not fun when you don't have anyone to get drunk with." Said Vaati to which Maji shook her head and closed the door.

Three more rants later and a barley held memory of Maji yelling at him to eat before he fell into sleep.

 **Welp still not tired... I'm probably going to write the next chapter a bit.**


	9. News

**SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Why is this a reocurring thing?**

Vaati woke up with the strangest of hedaches. The kind where you don't remember hitting your head and then realized he had gotten himself drunk. Vaait opened the door to the owlery but instantly wished he hadn't. The light hurt his eyes but he was hungry enough to press on.

"Hey!" Vaati yelled and waved to Petro. His talking hurt his head a little and he instantly wished evryone would stop talking. Petro made a detour and flew away from his vision. As Vaati thought he didn't like him anymore Petro came back holding a cracker, some meat, and a thimble of water. Vaati thanked him and started eating his meal.

"Where is most evryone?" Asked Vaati.

"Most of the owls are out delivering Hogwarts acceptance letters. These tell power magic gifted children they need to hone their powers at out prestegious school." Replied Petro. "I'm just finished with mine so the others should be coming back soon."

"So new children will be coming to the school to be taught magic?" Asked Vaati. He was curious about what these children were taught. Elzo had tried to stop him from learning magic at all costs. How did these children learn when taught by another.

"Yes, don't worry though they only come up to the owlery when letters need to be delivered, and that's not allowed evry day of the week. We owls need our rest too you know." Said Petro.

"Did the news come in today? I'd like to get a look at it."

"Yes it is." Petro grabbed Vaati with no warning and landed the mage on the owlery floor in front of a bit of papper. Vaati could see the images going through the motions and repeating themselves. This magic was nothing new to Vaati who could turn people to stone or trap them into paintings. He couldn't get them to act alive but he belived they had the same theory behind them.

"Gilroy Lockheart wins award for best smile again... New red robes are all the rage... Boy who lived is going to attend Hogwarts. What the heck is this news? This tells me nothing important!" Said Vaati.

"Usually the front page is used for articles that people would rather read. The most important information is usually near the back." Said Petro.

"That's silly! Were somthing important i want it to be up front! People will just get bored halfway in on all the gossip that was uncovered at the wizard convention? What the heck! You described these wizards perfectly! How the heck do people learn about all this junk and shove the rest to the back?! This is mostly useless.!" Vaati shouted as he began the task of trying to flip the page. It kept falling on him and closing up so he decided to read from inside the news.

"Muggles attacked near central station, deatheaters return. What are death eaters?" Yelled Vaati as he peaked his head out of the news to look at Petro.

"They follow the dark lord in his plight to eradicate all those he deems unworthy of the gift of magic." Informed Petro.

"Dosn't evryone have magic? I mean this castle has magic right?" Asked Vaati.

"Yes they all have magic but they don't all have magics power. To use the gift of magic you must have the power to control it. Magic is itself a living thing and locks itself inside of those who cannot summon it's power without destroying themselves. Usualy squibs, who are wizards that have no magic power even though they trace their lineage to magic weilders, have too much power for themselves to handle. Sadly wizards don't understand or choose to ignore this so they can foll themselves that they are superior." Said Petro while shaking his head.

"That's foolish of them. As i learn more about these wizards the more I want to not know." Said Vaati. "Do any of them make any sense?"

"So far the answer is no. We might see a wise one in our years but it's more likley they will all turn out as fools. I blame the potion fumes myself, I mean boiling newt tails and goat throw up. Nope." Said Petro who then shivered for a bit.

"Whats the Wizenmgot?" Asked Vaati when he went back into the news.

"That's a counsel of wizards that act as high judges for evrything the minister of wizard london tries to pass as law, as well as judges for high crimes. Dumbledoor happens to be on this counsel. Said Petro.

"How dose one get onto the counsel?" Asked Vaati. He wondered how a headmaster could have gotten such a position.

"Either bribing alot of money, or inheriting the seat from ancestors." Said Petro.

"WHAT?! You say any bimbo who had their father on the counsel can claim their seat? That makes no sense! Even with Hyrule the ruler got to pick their judges!" Said Vaati.

"If the minister of magic got to pick his judges i tell you that he could pass whatever law he wanted. It's too dangerous but if we had people with alot of money on the Wizemgot then he wouldn't be able to bribe most of them. It's a dangerous thing to try and find a balance of power because there is none." Said Dave who had startled Vaati.

 **Woke up at 12, can't go to sleep. -.- Immune system whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Hopefully i'll pass out now. Forgot that he was minister and not president so i changed that if you are wondering.**


	10. Afterthought afterwards

**In Harry Potter there were always things that were off to me.**

 **did Draco challenge Harry to a duel but backed out and instead tried to set Filch on him?**

 **-Draco's father is a death eater that hates muggles, why would he not teach his son magic and force him to grow up without learining any spells?**

 **-Draco never seemed like the one to back out of a challenge unless he was clearly out mached unlike against a first year.**

 **-Why was it coincidentaly on the floor that the stone was being kept?**

 **?I think it was Dumbledoor's doing or Snape's. Maybe even Quiril/Voldie**

"Alright so, how dose one bocome a minister of magic?" Asked Vaati. He wonered if there was a strange ritual involved to lead magic users.

"They are picked by the wizards they will decide the laws for. It's somthing called a republic with democratic ideals. The wizard vote for whoever they want to rule over them for a certain amount of time." Said Dave.

"What? Those fools who put articles about smile awards get to pick their leader! They might as well jump off a cliff as vote for someone." Yelled Vaati getting more confuzed at how politics got this way.

"Wizards are taught to fear fear Vaati. They are taught from the point where they go to school that being a dark wizard is bad. They are then taught that people will destroy them if they are a proven dark wizard. They are taught to fear magic that they cannot control. They are taught to fear dark wizards. The ones who put smiles on the front pages are people who want to forget about fear." Said Dave.

"Fear controls them." Said Vaati. He remembered the minish, who feared mostly evrything. He knew how ostrasizing creatures like that could be. "That's why you don't let the wizards know how smart you are?"

"They want control of evrything to feel safer. If they realize we had a mind of our own they would put restrictions on us as they had the other creatures." Said Dave.

"Other creatures?" Asked Vaati.

"I think it's time for you to be introduced to the library Vaati." Said Dave.

"How big is this library? And how do I get there?" Asked Vaati who was ready to start researching about this world.

"I'll take you there, but it's best to take you at night. The humans would not want to find an owl in their library, and i still need to rest from my delivery." Said Dave who flew off to his sleep.

"How many people are going to come to the school?" Asked Vaati.

"Hundreds." Said Petro.

"Dave mentioned the government of the wizard world but what about the muggles?" Asked Vaati.

"The British muggle world is the same but without any magic. As in any place the politics depend on diffrent areas." Said Petro with a wave of his wing.

"How young are the students when they arrive?" Asked Vaati leading away from confuzing politics, for now. He hoped they were older that thirteen otherwise even wizards with weak magic could see them before they came of age.

"Usually the first years are eleven when they start school. They return to the school after that year for six years until they have completed their schooling years." Said Petro.

"Why teach people magic in four years? It seems more complicated than just that amount of time." Said Vaati.

"While many muggle born will go back to their old way of living the academics who wish to pursue a greater knowledge will go study under an instructor or become an apprentice. Sadly many muggle born won't go on to do so. It's sad that the wizard society losses these members but more years in school would be costly and wasted on them." Said Petro.

Vaati could see why they didn't offer more years if so many people wouldn't use what they learned at all. And at least with this system anyone who wanted to improve would be able to without having to go to school.

"Are people able to apprentice without going to the school?" Asked Vaati.

"While there are many who would ask for prior learning in their pupils, some will accept kids to teach them from the ground up. Usually muggle born don't know about this and are unable to take advantage of it until they get their Hogwarts letter."

"Do the magic and wizard world work separately? With the government being split and the muggles not knowing much about the other side it seems like it." Observed Vaati.

"That is a difficult question my friend." Petro thought for a moment. "While the muggles have no idea about the wizarding world, besides the ones with the gift of magic and their parents, the wizarding world is intertwined with the muggle one. The wizarding world depends on integrating new blood into society to help strengthen magic. The wizarding world also fears what the muggle world will do if they find out about magic. There is also the case of wizards being obsessed with getting rid of muggles from the earth."

"Why do they want the muggles to die?" Asked Vaati.

"They see them as weak. They want to show that there is no reason to fear eradication from people they consider lower than dirt. They also want to win the dark lord's favor by joining his cause." Petro talked behind his wing. "If you ask me, and you are, the dark lord lost his marbles some time ago. He justifies his cause because of his strength but he's shown time, and time again that he wants to destroy what he fears. The muggles and then the boy."

Vaati let the words sink in. He remembered that he had the same reasoning for attacking the hero. At first he had thought him as a joke, a child who was given a sword and told to save a kingdom. Later he had feared the powers the godesses had given him. No, it was the hero's tenacity to not give up and move forward that had suprised him. Next time he would not underestimate his enemy. He would crush them as soon as they reared their head.

"But the headmaster thinks he wil return. Didn't he die?" Vaati could swear this entire thing was so familiar. If this kid wasn't the holder of the triforce of courage he would eat his hat.

"The headmaster is certanly planning that he will be back with all the sneaking around he has been doing." Said Petro.

"Do you all keep a close eye on him? You certanly don't seem to trust him much." Said Vaati knowing the answer before it was spoken. He wanted to get into a certain topic so he guided the conversation.

"The old fool only sees people as a means to get what he wants and he abhors the people who will stand in his way. It's very hard to tell if you are on his bad side, and you do not want to be there. Not even the students are safe from his manipulations. He can talk them into following different paths he deems worthy and that might be of use to him in the future. He uses that old grandfather façade to make people think fondly of him." Replied Petro with a shake of his head.

"How did he become headmaster if he is likley to go behind anyones back?" Asked Vaati.

"The answer is politics." Vaati inwardly groaned but realized he should have expected as much, the man being on the wizenmgot. "Dumbledoor had always been a strong wizard that had earned respect and was known for supporting the light magic. The headteacher is always appointed and potentially fired or suspended by the board of governors. Durring the time he was learning at hogwarts he became somewhat of an apprentice to the old headmaster. The headmaster of the school can tell the board who they consider to be a good candidate and they choose who will take over the position. Dumbledoor was certanly a shoe in after defeating the declared dark lord Gillert Grindewald and anouncing himself a lord of the light."

"So him defeating a dark lord made him the best candidate for the job?"

"No, him declaring himself a light lord soon after was what really had the heads turn towards himself. Having someone with the power of a lord, let alone a light lord, in charge of a school in a country biased against the dark. Though what you must think of the man is not truly all he is at the moment."

"What do you mean?"

"He tries to do what he thinks will lead the world down a brighter path. He just doesn't care what he has to do to reach his goal. He no doubt plans to put the boy in danger this year. He has been patting himself on the back too much for him to be up to anything outwardly."

"Why put the kid in danger? What could he gain from that?"

"Dumbledore acts on the thought that the dark lord will rise again. He believes that the dark lord is a plague of evil that must be defeated before his tendrils may snatch the light of the world. He may believe the child is ready to defeat this evil. I cannot say whether the child has received any training as Dumbledore has kept the child's whereabouts and life hidden from all. Even the owl who brought his letter has no remembrance of where the child was. The wards on the place may be what as wiped the memory from his mind."

"So basically this powerful light lord is depending on a child to save the world?" This sounded too much like the goddesses depending on their chosen hero for Vaati to be comfortable.

"More the fact that he is relying on a flimsy telling of a future."

"Telling of a future?"

"The future is never set in stone unless you truly believe it is. There is always room for change as there are rooms for another future. There was once an owl who was said to be able to see all the different paths that his life could take. Sadly whether this is true or not is lost to history."

"It was never written down?"

"Many things have been written down that have been later neglected."

 **Imediatley I remember fogotten passwords to E-mail accounts and mourn their loss.**

"What if there was no owl like that and such an idea was created to give hope to pitiful existence?" Vaati felt depressed at this thought as he had tried so hard to push past fate yet he had no idea whether he had succeeded. Then Vaati looked up and he could see Petro's eyes smile.

"At least then we were given somthing to belive in. To give our existence hope for a change. It's better than simply accepting fate." Said Petro. "It's better than knowing life is predetermined and what we do was meant to happen. That we cannot change where we will end up and there is no reason to try."

"I see." Said Vaati. What he said didn't make Vaati feel any better but he cursed the godesses again.

"Vaati fate is not somthing to devote your life worrying about. If we are fated somthing than I am happy I was fated to be with great friends and a place to live comfortably." Vaati could see his reasoning and agreed that the hope of being able to break free was better than accepting fate. And he had escaped the seal hadn't he?

"I.. understand I think."

 **Stress gets me sick and have i had alot of sterss latley. Stay hydrated moi ami. Also it's hard to look into the lore of this because i never realy paid attention and this story is getting more complex than i had planned. But it's now my internet baby.**


	11. That crazy friend we don't mention

"Vaati fate is not somthing to devote your life worrying about. If we are fated somthing than I am happy I was fated to be with great friends and a place to live comfortably." Vaati could see his reasoning and agreed that the hope of being able to break free was better than accepting fate. And he had escaped the seal hadn't he?

"I.. understand I think."

"I think it's best not to try to answer a question you can never be sure of the answer to."

For the rest of the game Vaati talked idle chatter with Petro and Maji when she returned. Vaati was bored with the peacefullness but was not up for an adventure like yesterday. He soon fell asleep underneath the window while they discussed Shakespear which was apparently some form of liturature. It was quickly tiring.

The next thing Vaati knew he was being pulled from a dream where he had trapped the godesses in a pickle jar and forced each of them to grant him one wish. He couldn't recal all the details but he could have sworn the chosen hero was forced to dress up as a pig and have tea with gannon while Zelda did free form balle wearing a rainbow cucco costume to the music of a sentient ocarina that identified as an aple named Dave. The entire time a storm of raining Elzo figurines were trying to break into the house.

 **(Was going to write the dream but I might still do it.)**

Vaati looked up at Dave who had nudged him awake. Vaati could feel how chilly it was through the blanket that had been placed on him throught his sleep. Despite ot doing much Vaati still felt tired.

"We can go to the library now if you still wish to go." Said Dave while Vaati stood up and folded the small blanket.

"I still want to go." Said Vaati. "Where is it?"

"I'll have to fly you there. It's on the other side of the castle."

"That's fine." Said Vaati as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Dave started flying and swooped around to grab Vaati in his tallon. They flew out the window and began making their way towards the other side of the castle. Vaati hung tightly to the tallons of Dave. He felt scared of falling from such a height as he knew he would be killed as soon as he hit the ground. He couldn't help to feel a thrill that he hadn't felt since he had complete controll of his powers. As he was now he had enough to maybe send a feather into the air, but stopping his fall would take alot more than that.

Vaati hadn't had the chance to see the surrounding of the castle yet as he had been too busy trying to figure out how he would survive, but when he looked he sawan extensive forest and he could make out some light off in the distance. He could see small flickerings between the trees and he spotted a large lake.

After admiring the view after getting his nervs settled Dave had made his way to the other side of the castle. Vaati looked ahead and culd see a window suddely opened. Dave flew in the opening and Vaati could see an extensive collection of books. There were a few tables with chairs aound them. Dave flew by one of the chairs and dropped Vaati on the floor. Vaati realized the library seemed too dusty to be frequented by anyone.

The books on the shelves were all different sizes and colors. Some were large with faded red covers and others were new with striking brown covers. The shelves extended towards the ceiling making him realize that he would be hard pressed to read any book as he now was too small to reach the second shelf. Not only that, but the shelves seemed to have no defining features to tell the contents of each isle. He had no idea how Dave was going to find the book he was looking for. He then realized that Dave seemed to know where he was going when he flew off.

"What do you think you're doing back in here?!" Vaati heard. Vaati then had the pleasure of watching Dave being chased around by a grey owl while still trying to hold onto the book he had in his tallons.

"You don't own this library you old coot!" Shouted Dave who just missed being swiped by the older bird. Dave dropped the book on the ground near Vaati when the two had collided in the air. Vaati tuned out the scuffle as he turned to examine the book. He recognized the language of ancient Hylian. The book itself was small compared to the others but made up for that in thickness. The cover was a smooth blue leather, and had the title of Many Magic Monsters. Vaati realized the use of monsters instead of creatures was a subtle key.

It would either mean that the author had bias of the creatures in the book, or they were dangerous. Either way Vaati began the task of opening the book and lifting the cover. As soon as he got the cover opened all the way the book adjusted itself and leaned to the side. Vaati quickly got out of the way as a few of the pages flipped open and landed where he had been standing. Vaati looked at the pages that had been flipped to and admired the illustration of the dragon.

Vaati had been familiar with dragons in Hyrule and knew a lot about the ones from his world. He read about halfway through the page and learned that this world's dragons were used for sport and such and called mindless beasts before an exhausted Dave landed next to Vaati, his wings making wind that turned a few pages.

"Sorry about that Vaati." Said Dave as he tried to get his breath. "I had hoped the fool would have been asleep by now." He then glared at the owl that was preening itself on the nearby shelf.

"This "Old fool" was able to give you young whippersnapper a chase you soon will not forget! So. Who is the little purple mouse?" He said staring interestingly at Vaati. Vaati finaly observed the owl and realized it looked less than sane. He had feathers that pointed in random directions and had a grey color that was mostly associated with old age.

"I'm not a mouse! I'm not tasty! Stop looking at me like that!" Shouted Vaati remembering why minish were afraid of evrything bigger than them. He then again realized how low his magic reserves were and cursed the goddess in his head while watching the old owl for any sudden movements.

"Haw! It was just a joke little one. Eating some strange creature, even a mouse that was magiced purple... magic is not good for digestion with my stomach." Said the owl.

"Noted." Said Vaati while still keeping track of the owls movements. "So let me guss the reason you didn't want to come durring the day was because you thought you could avoid this owl."

 **Stress gets me sick and have i had alot of sterss latley. Stay hydrated moi ami. Also it's hard to look into the lore of this because i never realy paid attention and this story is getting more complex than i had planned. But it's now my internet baby. Also Felix Colgrave's videos are so dark but captivating... so dark.**


	12. Tiny menace

The godesses were sitting at the table. Above them the ceiling expanded to blackness and from the darkness a few random flashed of collor appeared now and then.

One of the godesses at the table was Din. She had light brown skin and wore a red skirt that showed off her legs and a red shirt that only covered the top of her chest. There was a shoulder gaurd on her left shoulder that extended down her arm. She had a curved sword that was held on her back by a strap that crossed over her right arm and on her left hip. She wore metal boots on her feet that each had one large jem that changed colors.

Din was currently leaning forwards and had her elbows on the table with her hands clasped in front of her face so tightly her nuckles were white. Her face was in an angry expression that made her red eyebrows steretch so that only creases of anger parted them. Her red hair was in a tight braid that ended with a gold ring in the end. Her orange eyes were staring at one of the things that had caused her fury to surface.

Another godess at the table was Faore. She wore a green skirt that looked like an upside down rose that covered up to her knees and had brown boots on her feet. She also had a white shirs with sleves that went to her elbows and a brown vest over that which was tied together with leather string.

While Din was in a furious rage Faore, on the other hand, was trying not to laugh. Her blue eyes showed mirth that was soon unbottled. She coverd her face with her green pigtails as she began to laugh at the histerical sight. Currently Nayru was trying to capture Ganondorf into a fold of her power. She was shooting beams at the small man at an alraming rate but he was able to avoid being hit marginally every time. She wore a look of indifrence that was easily betrayed by how her hand twitched as she sent out waves of her power.

Nayru was an older looking than the other godesses and wore a dark blue, figure fitting dress that covered her feet and had light blue see through sleves. The entire thing was covered in sparkles **(Sparkles!)**. When Nayru was finally able to catch the smaller life form she let out a sigh of frustration and leaned back in her chair. Half of her head was shaved and the blue hair on the other side looked like water cascading down her shoulder. She closed her blue eyes and began to speak. "What do we do with the cretin now?" She had a calm and comanding voice with a bit of roughness in it.

"Blasting him to bits is the only way to deal with his kind of scum!" Shouted Din in a low growl as she stood up and slammed her hands on the table. Clearly trying to incenerate the man with a glare. She lifted her hand up and her red aura covered it ready to blast the now helpless captive.

"Din." Said Nayru as she oppened her eyes and folded her hands in front of herself and straightend her posture. "Destorying him will only cause him to reincarnate early. This will make it hard for us to prepare for his attempt to attain the triforce without directly interfering with the world. At this Din's hand stopped glowing but was then slammed as a fist onto the table. This made Nayru raise an eyebrow.

"If that fool hadn't weakened the seal all would have been put to rest till the next reincarnation." Said Din as she looked at her fist. When Vaati had escaped the seal he had weakened it allowing the other monsters that had been inside able to get out including the king of evil. It had taken the godesses a while to track down the creatures in their realm and had to block off all access to the other worlds for fear they might have been able to escape.

"An oversight on our part. We should not have sealed two diffrent forces into the same container." Said Nayru. "Sadly it is now irreparable. We have to make a new seal before we can safley put the demon king where he will not cause trouble."

"Vaati caused this problem why not have him clean it up?" If he found the right materials he could make another sealing sword like the minish did for us so long ago, the Four Sword. Said Faore in her smoth voice.

"It would put the world he is in now at great risk should he ignore our challenge or fail it." Said Nayru calmly.

"What a troublesome captive." Said Faore while she leaned onto her hand and used her other to curl in her hair. She suddelny sat up straight. "What if we send other help? We still have the Master Sword don't we?"

"It's to dangerous to send to a world that could colapse on itself any moment. We will not send the sword or any of our chosen." Said Nayru.

"What about if we send someone else? I'm sure a Sheika will be able to fill our task and be able to pursuade Vaati into solving our problem." Said Din who at until this point had been seething at the demon king.

"Vaati will not trust one of the shiek. He has no care for us and the Shieka follow our teachings so closely that he would be sure they meet an untimley demise to spite us, not to mention that he would know we sent them." Said Nayru. The demon king was already breaking free of the power that bound him once again. His power was like a snake as it wove throught the cracks. It was getting dangerous to keep him in the realm without a seal to keep his power from the godesses'.

"From what I can tell Vaati will be happy to get his own revenge. If we release Gannon into the world Vaati will have no choice than to accept our help. I will send my own sword to the world. Will you consider this sister?" Asked Din ready to get the pig away from their sacred realm before he tainted it anymore. As Din had been known as a deity of fighting both her and her counter part had been given magic swords by another god that shared their realities.

"That has so many holes in it still." Said Faore. Din sent her a look and then glared at the demon king as he started laughing. He then broke out of his bindings and began gathering power.

"Just sent it already. I'd like to get him out of here as soon as possible. Should Vaati not be able to defeat him we have no choice but to colapse the world and prepare prematurley for his reincarnation to arrive." Said Nayru who let out a tired sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose as she trapped the demon king in another wave of power with her other hand.

"I'll do it!" Said Faore as her green aura extended out of herself and grabbed the captive. She rushed to the world and waited. "Where to put this... I wonder." Then she had the greatest idea. They couldn't bind his magic, so why not bind his form? She began maniacly laughing which startled the captive before he was dropped and started fallin towards the ground.

 **Might get rid of this chapter. I haven't decided if I want Gannon in the world or even whether Vaati will get invlolved in the acctual Harry Potter experience. It would be funny if he was an outsider looking in that constantly crossed with the story accedenaly getting himself into situations.**

 **Now time for a story I thought of...**

Mrs. Mcgonagall was in the headmasters office copying a letter for Harry Potter's acceptance to Hogwarts three thousand times into a magic bag that the headmaster planned to have an owl empty the bag into the chimney of the house where he lived.

"Headmaster I would ask once again for you to abandon this course of action." Said Mrs. Mcgonagall for the fith time that evning.

"As I said Minerva, the wards are what is stopping Harry from reciving his acceptance letter. We need to put as many as possible on it's way there so that a few of them may be able to alert him that he needs to go to school." Said the headmaster.

"Headmaster I belive his relatives may not be allowing him to respond to the letter, you know how Lilly's sister hated magic. And what if alot more letters than you anticipate enter the house and crush the entire family?" Said Mcgonagall urgently.

"Don't worry Minerva Snape has assured me that he belives only a few letters at most will be able to get through." Said Dumbledore while popping a lemon candy into his mouth.

Meanwhile Snape was in the corner rubbing his hands together at the briliant plot he had devised. If the Poyyer boy was to busy with whatever he deemed worthy enough that he didn't reply to the letter why not take the opportunity to annoy the boy. (Snape was fine if he would be crushed under the letters.)

 **Later at the Dursley house**

Harry ran at a frantic pace to get out of the house. He barley missed being crushed by a large pile that had escaped out the door behind him and was now trying to catch his breath while the Durslys yelled about how it was all his fault. Harry was not worried with this and only wondered who wanted him to go to the school so bad that they would try to crush him with acceptance letters. Honestly this didn't bode well for his school years if teachers would try to crush him with undone class work.


	13. Book Smarts

**It's been a while since I wrote anything for this and I wrote the Town of Anime chaper the same day I posted it. I'm not good at writing gore... it's suprisingly therapudic. Also forgot to adress this sorry /._./**

 **No the stick was not the cinnamon guy, or wasn't supposed to be. I'd like to think my mind was telling me I should eat cerial. Also i'd not have made the connection to that so XD**

At Vaati's statement Dave moved his wing over his face and it looked like he was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What kind of lie did he tell this time?" Asked the owl and probably less than all sane bird.

"He said humans wouldn't like owls in the library." Said Vaati to which Dave let out a sigh.

"Dave, you are always bad about lies." He wipped his hand on the ladder step and dust flew down causing Vaati to cover his mouth with his cape. He turned from looking at Dave to staring at Vaati. "I've lived in this library for many years and have read about many things. You are a knew kind of small thing I never read about."

"Not a thing. I am not small **(I'm fun sized!).** The name is Vaati. I'm a wind mage." Said Vaati feeling bolder.

"Ah I see. You are still quite short Vaati. And not a mouse I should think. You do seem to be a bit small for a full grown rodent." Said the old owl.

"Why is this place so dusty?" Asked Vaati redirecting the conversation from his height.

"This used to ba a library of the founder Rowena Ravenclaw. There is a main library that is used by the students and teachers. One of the first founders had this one sealed up to preserve it." Said the old owl.

"Why have multiple libraries?"

"The founders had a diffrent personalities. To the point where they would often fight. They each have their own secret libraries throughout the castle though to my knowledge none have found the others yet."

"Then why live in the same place at all? It would have been better to have made their own school I should think."

"They tried that but students need difrent viewpoints as they came to the conclusion of. They each set out to find another witch or wizard who could help balance the learning of the children and give insight to the structure of the castle. Rowena and Sathazar planned the construction while Godrick funded the extention o his inherited castle. Helga often acted as the planner and mediator for certain creatures in the area. It's likley had Helga not been with them they'd have strangled eachother although even she could have enough of certain behavior."

"How did you find this one if they are so hidden?" He didn't want a full on history lesson yet he needed to know about now.

"Rowena always had a soft spot for avians." Said the owl criptically.

"That dosn't answer my question at all." Said Vaati with a twitch in his eyebrow.

"What he means-" Began Dave before being cut off by a squack. Dave then began to fly away from the owl that was again attacking him and Vaati watched before getting bored when the owls flew out the window with Dave yelling alot at the older owl who was silent in persuit.

He looked at the book again and studied the creature that was depicted. It seemed to be a white horse with a horn in it's head. The depiction showed the creature with a soft aura and seemed to be emerging from the woods.

"The Unicorn is a creature of pure light. It takes the form of a horse with a pure white coat and has a horn in the center of it's head. It is theorized the horn length tells the age of the creature as no small versions of them have ever been spotted and no tracks from herds have been connected with a potential young. Unicorns are mostly found in places heavily dense in trees enough so they can move about almost undetected. Unicorns can also be found around places where large pockets of light magic appear." Between the pages there was a note "Unicorns can help a wizard reflect on their past offences and see into the heart like a Dementor can see into a soul." Vaati breifly wondered what they would see if they looked into his. He then realized he couldn't care less.

Vaati turned the page with much effort and it kept... fighting back? Vaati wasn't sure if he was imagining half the battle but he was sure this darn thing was messing with him. He decided he disliked sentient books, books and hats. Elzo was certanly an annoying hat. Sentient castles were ok he guessed. When he finnaly beat the page into submission by landing ontop of it so it wouldn't move a page on the other side quickly flipped over onto him and a fith of the other pages soon followed.

"You win this one book but once I have plucked all of the knowledge from your old crinkly pages I will burn you in the smallest fire imaginable so it takes even longer for you to be put out of your missery as the flames eat you bit by bit!" Said Vaati while trying to get out from under the pages he was now trapped under. To his suprise the pages lifted off of him and landed back where they had been.

"See! Was that so hard?" Vaati stood up and posed victoriously over the book. The side of the book lifted quite suddenly and threw Vaati face first into the dusty ground. When Vaati dusted himself off he looked back and saw the book had closed itself. "HOW DARE YOU!" Vaati Began trying to pry open the cover but the book was unrelenting. Giving up Vaati crossed his arms and stomped his foot. He looked around and realized he didn't quite like being alone as a tiny minish.

The library was only lit by the moonlight that entered the window giving an eerie glow but the night was so clear that he could read the covers on the books he walked by. He paid no mind to the books on the shelves higher than the first level and passed by about one book every five steps he took. Hearing a snorting sound he looked to the side and saw the glint of eyes. THERE WAS A BOOK WITH EYES ON IT'S SPINE! Not only that but it was staring at him. Vaati stared right back at the black book. He noticed that it was strapped into the shelf with leather strings that connected to buckles on the top and bottom of the book. It stared at him for quite some time untill it began trying to struggle out of it's bonds.

Vaati hated this library. He saw the old leather began to stretch and tear. Vaati immediatly ran towards the ladder the old owl had sat on. By the time the book got out (Vaati could hear it plop onto the floor) he had made it a third of the way to his escape route. He hoped this thing couldn't fly or grow apendages that it could climb up with. Vaati heard growls from behind him and somthing slamming into the floor repeatedly. The book was quite fast and he heard it approach quickly. He was almost there and had ran past the book he had been reading earlier but at this rate it would catch him as indicated by the dust that swirled from behind him making it harder to breath. He looked behind and saw that it was about to grab his cape. He grabbed it and dove to the side through corner of the open book that snapped shut behind him narrowly missing being... eaten?

Oh goddesses above loved to punish him. The book took little time to turn and look directly at Vaati who felt like a startled mouse right then. It seemed to have two sets of eyes, one pair on the spine and the other on a lock that seemed to have been used to keep it closed that now dangled in front of Vaati's eyes. What feaked Vaati out the most was that the book had teeth coming out of the cover that twitched at him as if daring him to try that move again. It propelled itself into the air and was heading straight for Vaati.

As it was halfwaf to the minish who was too paralized to move. As he was preparing to die a giant book fell from the shelf above him and landed on the smaller tome pinning it to the ground as it snarled at him while moving its teeth as far out as it could get. When Vaati let out a sigh of releif he went over to inspect the larger book while keeping a great distance from the murder book. Reading the side of the book it said The Wizard that took the sky and wind, and the sun that got them back. Vaati didn't even want to try looking at the book as he didn't want the one thing that is preventing him from being eaten to dislike him. He went back to the latter and climbed to the first step feeling worn out.

His heart was still going so fast but after a few minutes he got it to calm down. He heard a creaking noise and prepared himself for any suprise attacks from any hungry book. To his suprise the floor in front of him oppened and Vaati could see a tiny staircase that had light coming out of it inviting Vaati to explore. He didn't quite feel up to it though so he stayed sitting on the step. The second time that day he was thrown on his face into dust and cursing an animate object AKA the step that flipped him off. Literally and possibly figuratively. Fine if the castle wants him to go he will! He can take on any challenge! The as he made his way towars the stairs the book barked at him and sent Vaati stumbling down a few steps.

He landed on his back with his cape twisted around him and covering his face. He straightened himself out and saw he only fell two stairs before it flattened out. Conspirating castle. He kept descending the lit stairway and when he got down far enough it closed behind him leaving him to only go forwards.

 _In another place across a long distance there was a great evil that was in the middle howling with rage._

"HOW DARE THE DAMN GODESS DEMEAN ME SO! I, WHO WOULD CRUSH THEM UNDER MY FEET HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR THEIR DANM CHOSEN!" He fumed and sent plasts of his power at a nearby tree that got a foot wide hole through it but didn't obliterate as it should have. The godess had found a way to restrict his power without knowing it and Gannondorf had felt he would have been able to conquer the world in an instant had he not been restricted so!

His body was too small to output as much magic as he had before, sadly if he had pushed his limits to cast any tree shattering spells it would have put too much stress on his tiny body. For now he had to find a way to either break his bindings or take over another vessel that could unleash his full potential. The tiny man used his power to push away the dense brush he was walking through and looked up to see a large elegant castle.

Meanwhile in the world hub of the three, two godesses were laughing at the justice the youngest had unleashed against the constant thorn in their side.

"While I commend your initiative at finding how to limit his power we have not yet given Vaati a reason to get rid of him." Said the blue clad godess while Din snorted trying to get her laughter under control. All of a sudden fourteen souls swept past the goddeses followed by another thorn in their side.

"What are you doing here? These worlds are under our juristiction." Said Din as she stood up to her full height reaching for the sword that she still had and stared at the being with the souls floating behind them.

"Conducting an expirament. I'm only messing with the ones that have yet to find any other use so it should be fine right?" Said the being while floating backwards from the tunnel they had entered. Nayru looked at the souls and realized they were of no use to them anymore.

"Fine take them but you owe us a vow then." Said Nayru after the goddesses had nodded to eachother.

"Yeah, yeah I get it." Said the being. Who went off with the souls in tow.

While most of the other gods dedicated their time to creating some didn't have the right mind to do so like the being that had shown themselves. They were like godly parrasites that enjoyed playing around with other's creations. Luckily the creator made it so restrictions could be put on divine beings in the way of unbreakable vows. One of these vows was the reason they couldn't interfere directly in the struggle of Gannondorf unless he came to their domain. This vow had however been given by the three in order to get rid of the parrasite god that had offered much from them.

 **One life, one more chance to say i'm sorry. And I can't belive the lie. Say you need me.**

 **There's a way back, I surrender.**

 **-Delta Heavy, White Flag**


	14. Can't Do This Right Now

**Sooooo just thinking about future chapters. Should I make a Beauxbatons student evil... for reasons.**

Vaati kept following the tunnel downwards, around turns, and he even had to go through a part where he could barley squeze through. Of course that could be because he had complained about walking so long with no destination in sight. He wasn't even sure if the castle was pranking him or not. His thoughts were silenced as he came to a part where the tunnel got dark. He looked back and realized he didn't even try to find where the light had come from. It seemed like the walls behind were glowing and as he went to inspect them the passaged closed in front of his face.

Turning around with a few choice words and rubbing his nose he reached the end. Looking out it seemed he was in another corridor on the ground. He started walking out but quickly ducked back in when he heard heavy footsteps and thunderous laughing.

"Ol' Yacht just spat the thing out and it scurried right under me legs. That'll teach te' thing!" This was followed by more annoying laughter.

"While your creatures are an... interesting topic we are getting further from the one we need to discuss."

"Oh c'mon professur Snape. Have a bit o' fun."

"Hagrid, I belive professur Snape is right." At this point the footsteps passed Vaati and the passage behind him pushed him out into the open. Vaati swore revenge but quickly scrambled to sit on the back of the older wizard's blue robes that dragged a bit on the ground in the back.

"Snape did you finish your trial?"

"Yes it's been put in the corridor like you had asked of me."

"S' a shame Quirill didn't make it in time to put one of his trials in ther."

"Remember when the school year sarts don't talk about them, even with another teacher. The students are getting even sneakier every year." Said Snape quickly. **(Of course we all know how that goes. :) Hagrid, I'll never tell you about my secret stash of... things.)**

It would have been comfy was he not on edge, or the fact that every now and then he would go over a bump or almost fall off. When they went around corners it was even harder to stay on. They had stopped in front of a doorway that seemed to be emiting animalistic growls that left Vaati concerned.

The walking stopped and the large one seemed to be rummaging in his pockets for somthing Vaati saw as he peaked behind the cloth. He nodded to the headmaster while holding up a small ornate box. Snape opened the door and Hagrid oppened the box. It began to play a tinkling melody and a growl that came from the room quieted.

 **I wanna hold you. I'll never be lonley with you by my side. Say that you want me baby. I gather things you'll need to get by.**

 **-Delta Heavy, Get By**

 **Also did you know a group of owls is called a parlament. Writing this is getting harder. I want to focus on On The Storm so bad because I acctually have an outline for that while i'm writing this as it pops into my head. The next chapter will probably be a crack kind of Harry Potter thing.**


	15. This one is really bad

**(** ง **͡° ͜ʖ͡°)** ว **(** ง **͡; ͜ʖ ͡;)** ว **(** ง **͡l ͜ʖ ͡l)** ว

 **(** ง **͡- ͜ʖ ͡-)** ว **(** ง **͡{ ͜ʖ ͡{)** ว **(** ง **͡# ͜? ͡#)** ว

 **(** ง **͡i ͜ʖ ͡i)** ว **(** ง **͡° ͜- ͡°)** ว **(** ง **͡. ͜ʖ ͡')** ว

 **(** ง **͡? ͜ʖ ͡?)** ว

 **(** ง **͡* ͜ʖ ͡*)** ว **(** ง **͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)** ว **(** ง **͡] ͜ʖ ͡])** ว

 **(** ง **͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)** ว **(** ง **͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)** ว **(** ง **͡ ͜ʖ ͡)** ว

 **(** ง **͡! ͜ʖ ͡!)** ว **(** ง **͡3 ͜ʖ ͡3)** ว

 **(** ง **͡+ ͜ʖ ͡+)** ว **(** ง **͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)** ว **(** ง **͡c ͜ʖ ͡c)** ว

 **(** ง **͡° _ʖ ͡°)** ว **(** ง **͡° ͜0 ͡°)** ว **Lenny :)**

Once the growling stopped the minish was dragged into the room on the fabric of the robe, feeling a bit ready to just quit this adventure here. He was dragged from this thought by Snape saying "Wingardium Leviosa." Vaati, who then peeked from behind the fabric saw the grim charachter pointing a stick at the paw of a giant dog with three heads. The sound of the tinkling music box didn't fit the scene at all and while that was going on, the large man holding the box was moving towards the mouth of the dog. He stopped and started patting the thing on it's snout. Vaati decided this was not safe for a school filled with children and wondered if the old man was insane. He looked over when he heard a thump and saw that the paw had been moved by Snape revealing a trap door where the paw had been.

"I'll stay here and keep o'l Fluffy asleep."

"Try not to get covered in slober." Mumbled Snape as he walked ontop of the trap door followed by Dumbledore.

"Ah didn' know you cared so much Snape but donn worry. Ahl be fine." Said the giant man. Vaati thought he heard Snape muttering under his breath and imagined it was somthing like 'I don't care about you oaf'. He waved the stick again and pointed it at the trap door and said "Wingardium Leviosa" again. The trap door started moving downwards and Dumbeldore said "Luminos" With his stick in his hand making the end light up.

 _Is this magic the same as mine? Why do they use sticks then? No this must be diffrent._ Vaati could feel the diffrent magic and could tell that they were using a kind of restricted magic. It wasn't as wild feeling as what he was used to. They then were taken down into a dark chamber of stone. As they neadred the botton Vaati could hear some squirming and could barley make out tendrils moving in the dark. They seemed to be moving away from the light as it got closer to it. They walked over to a wooden door and Vaati could see behind that the strange things reached as far as they could go towards the three without touching the light.

He kept watch of the tendrils until the door was closed behind the old wizard. When he looked around the room he saw alot of keys with wings flying over the heads of the men, far from their reach let alone the tiny minish's. There were arches and pillars in random places.

"Tell me Flitwick included another way to get around this one." Said Snape as he looked at a broom they were walking towards. Then up at the swarm of keys.

"No need to worry. He was clever with this one's hiding spot." Dumbeldore reached into the end of the broom and brought out a silver key as large as hid hand. Snape sighed in relief that he didn't have to get on the broom. They walked towards an enchanted door and Dumbledore opened it with the key. As soon as the door swung open the key vanished. They walked into a room with stone figures on tiles of black and white. Snape walked into the middle followed by the old man and stood there for a second. He then pulled out his stick into his right hand and held his arms up like he was a conductor. He stood still for a few minutes then turned back to Dumbledore.

"Bombarda!" A wave of power launched from the stick and was directed at the white stone peice with a sheild and swors. It seemed to try to move out of the way as the statue at it's feet tried to make itself taller so it could block the shot. It failled and the peice behind it was shattered. The statues that had been in obvious panic stilled. Snape then walked past them quickly. "It figures that a woman as to the ruels would think no one would try to cheat"

"I see you've read about the chess match of 1956." Said the Headmaster.

"I don't waste time on games Headmaster. You seem to forget that i've created my own potions, figuring out the holes in her magic was as simple as she is predicatable. Have her fix that." Said Snape as he walked on to the next chamber, leaving the shattered statue in his wake.

 **(Warning there is shipping! in this crack story.) In how misunderstandings happen because of wording. Part one crack.**

 **There was a muggle in Hogwarts who didn't get the memo that the other schools (Durmstang and Beauxtopix) were coming to Hogwarts that day so she had been in the library studying. She soon found there were unusual faces on the school grounds wearing diffrent uniforms durring lunch. So she walked up to one of the students, a boy in a military like outfit.**

 **"Who are you guys?" She asked.**

 **"He looked down at her and said "We are Durmstrung students."**

 **"How did you get here?"**

 **"Go ask our headmaster." He pointed to a man sitting at the head table next to Dumbledore. Taking his advice she walked up to the head table like she owned the place. She even placed on some shades that were enchanted to have heart eyes on the lenses that opened and closed. By the time she got to the head table she had a goblin gold chain, a silver grill, and a wizard hat that she wore backwards... you can't really thell because it's bassically a cone with a rim around it but whatever. She got up to the table and slammed her hands in front of the headmaster.**

 **She slowly took off her shades and threw them behind her. "How and when did you people get here?"**

 **"I went shipping and brought the students here." He said with a German accent looking for any reason in this story. (There is none)**

 **"You went shipping?" She asked.**

 **"Yes."**

 **"What did you ship and was it cute?"**

 **"What?"**

 **"What did you ship?"**

 **"The ship."**

 **"What ship!"**

 **"The ship outside!" At this the girl took a second to look out the window of the dining hall.**

 **"Huh... what did you ship it with though?"**

 **"I shipped it."**

 **"With?"**

 **"Myself?"**

 **"You... shipped a ship... with yourself?"**

 **"I mean how else would it get anywhere?"**

 **"Well... I don't think i'd ship it..."**

 **"Good because it's my ship!"**

 **"But why don't you want other people to ship your ship?"**

 **"Because it's mine!"**

 **"That makes sense... although all you headmasters seem to have some weird fetishes. I mean previous ones have done werid things with giant squids, have prefect kinks, and Dumbledore has this weird thing about the light. I don't think he'd be able to get it up unless there is a light on in the room honestly." At this the old wizard mentioned looked away. "Although he might be too old to do that at all anyway." The wizard then slammed a thing of on the dinner table. "Never mind apparently with the power of muggle science he can."**

 **"I still have no idea what that has to do with my ship."**

 **"You ship yourself with a boat!"**

 **"It's I ship my boat."**

 **"Same thing right? ...you meant you sail your ship didn't you?"**

 **"Oh yes! Woopsies."**

 **"English mother *****!" Minerva then used a magic spell to snap the girl's mouth shut and then proceded to turn her own hat backwards. She then turned it into a cap with the words 'Dark Wizard' on the front which was now the back with a "Hautious Wizardusss".**

 **"Shut up and sit down you hooligan." She said as she crossed her arms.**

 **Well... not going to update in a while due to myself moving and going to Britan. It's going to ba a crazy start to the break.**


	16. The end here but not the end

I'm not writing this story here anymore... I've kinda moved overt to archive of our own... heh.. heh...

I'll start continuing this but it's more continent for me to use that site because i can write and update stories on my phone.


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